Eye contact

[Dhe Poet]

I am hard of hearing. I don't hear well at all. When I don't have my instrument in I miss most everything said. I do not sign nor read lips. Although I do try. I read somewhere that persons like myself take everything literally. How dangerous that sounds to me. I have seen it first hand and understand why that was ever said. That being said I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt yet I am always extra cautious when it comes to important matters. It used to be that you looked someone in the eye when you spoke and so often I find that to no longer be the case. Eye contact goes along with respect for others and yourself. Do you who are teachers demand eye contact still. I have always wondered if it was a learned trait or something other than insecurity. More fortunate than others and less than some too. I do use it to my advantage as often as it is necessary like in a noisy situation that doesn't require my attention I can just turn it off and tune it out or at least to a low rumble. Anyways I'm thankful to God for all of my senses none the less. Thanks for letting me vent.

[Brit]

I demand eye contact from kids who habitually look at the floor and mutter. I find the worst culprits are the hardest to hear to begin with.

I always say "If you don't look at me, I can't hear you" -- and it's true, I understand better if I'm looking right at them. I also have some hearing loss (not enough to call myself hard of eharing, but I can't make out sounds as clearly and easily as I once did), so it's important that I can see faces to read them as kids talk. Having worked with Deaf individuals, looking directl at someone seems normal to me, but many cultures don't look you in the eye, and that's a sign of respect. I need to get around that, especially with my asian and native kids.

[AtoZ]

I was taught that eye contact is a sign of respect.

With my students, I demand eye contact for two reasons:

1) I teach them that it's a sign of respect--for me and for themselves.

2) My students know my philosophy: I'm preparing them for the world after high school (whether it's college or work), and eye contact is a very important communication tool in this society.

Brit has brought up an important point--eye contact is not treated the same around the globe, and I have seen that in my classrooms as well. To deal with that, I will often use the phrase "in this society" and throughout my teaching I will remind students that what we consider normal, acceptable, proper, etc. here, may be entirely different somewhere else.

[Boxcar]

I have to remind myself to make eye contact at times. There are valid reasons why I've had to "teach" this to myself. I'm not going to get into those here, but I do want to offer up this reminder: Know your students and never shame them. Not everyone makes eye contact, and it isn't always cultural.

[David]

I certainly ask my students to make eye contact, especially when I'm explaining something. I tell them their eyes tell me if their mind is on the task.

[lynn bambusch]

I learned the hard way that eye contact and what it means, is cultural. Years ago I was doing literacy volunteer work with a group of refugee children from the Hmong culture. Their English skills were low but they were very hard workers. I wanted them to make eye contact with me as I believed it would help them learn pronouciation. After a few weeks the families got together and sent one of the fathers over to speak to me. He politely told me (with out much eye contact) that children are taught that to make direct eye contact with an adult is rude and disrespectful. Teachers are highly respected and not to be challenged in this way. He also said the parents would not attend the informational meeting the other volunteer and I planned to explain what we were doing with their children 2 hours, 2 days a week. He said "We would not ask a surgeon what he does in surgery, you are the teacher, you know what you are doing." Such total trust!
I think students aren't listening if we don't have eye contact. But once I had a student who was a real artist, and if I made him stop drawing, he couldn't listen. He was too busy thinking about NOT drawing. But he was an oral learning, and once I learned this about him, he never failed another test. Different minds work in different ways.

[Dhe Poet]

I thank you all for your two cents about this. I am not a wordly person and I guess most of my feelings pertain to those of us that are Americans. That after all is what I do know about and where my expectations lie. Not that there is anything wrong with other cultural ways. Well according to some, themselves at least. Of course one can expect things to be different in other places.