Son lost a friend

[Bananas]

Our son called from college on Sunday to tell us his high school friend had been killed in a car accident early that morning along with another guy from our town. His friend was an only child and now his parents are left without him. His friend had been out to see our son at college through his years, so the friendship continued.

How does a parent comfort a child through a telephone? Long pauses where a hug would naturally be. We went to the visitation tonight, and the wait was long as we had expected. Pictures of the family throughout the year were interspersed. A TV played some pictures and videos of him and some of his time on the golf course. The young man had made Eagle Scout status and was now a leader. His golf bag was there by his uniform.

Our son had four friends make the two hour drive to attend the visitation with our son to pay their respects to this young man. Now our son is gathered with his high school crowd before the funeral tomorrow.

I pray for their strength as they face the pain and loss of their son and grandson. I also hug mine a lot while he is home for Thanksgiving. Somehow, it seems selfish to be thankful it was not mine, but how else does a mother feel?

[hweber]

Please accept my sympathies on the loss your family is experiencing. I have often thought about this, but I really don't think words can express more than a hug. While on the phone, just tell him that you are giving him a hug right now. And yes, hug him all the time while he is home.

[MsCoffeeLover]

Bananas, please accept my sympathies as well. I don't have any children, so as much as I love my nieces and nephews, a mother's love is compounded a million times more --or so I hear. I couldn't imagine anyone having to deal with that.

Even though you may not be there in person to hug him on a daily basis, he feels the hugs and the love on a daily basis. Sometimes boys don't always say it out loud.

I just put a bunch of letters in the mail from kids that wrote why they are thankful for their parents. They really put some thought into the letters, and the boys were the most impressive, and I shed a tear or two.

They are thankful you are at home when they get there or have to work or make them soup when they are sick or watching tv even when no one is saying anything. Some of them were so thankful parents were there when their dog died or make pancakes every Sunday morning or go to their games and listen to their boring stories all the while sounding fascinated at the same time or making sure they don't walk out of the house looking like a fool.

They feel the love through the phone too.

[Boxcar]

(((hugs))) to all. I'm so sorry for the loss of this young person. My sympathies and condolences to those whose lives he touched. May peace and meaning come to those who mourn him. May he rest in peace.

[dsmms]

I am so, so sorry to hear about your son's friend. There isn't anything that can be said to take that pain away. Just know we are thinking about him during this difficult time.

[Oak Tree]

Two of my old high school buddies died during my first year away at college. Car crash and suicide.


Somehow, it seems selfish to be thankful it was not mine, but how else does a mother feel?

Well, in my case, I'm sure it didn't hurt to be reminded of the fragility of life. It's a very hard lesson but it's also a very important one. Your son will be ok, don't worry.

[wig]

Many prayers for strength for the family and friends.

[teacher5]

It is always a great loss and a tragedy when someone so young dies. I am sure your son's visit to the family and funeral will mean a lot to the boy's family. I only hope the kids in the car weren't drinking and driving, and it was truly an accident. When this occurs at this time of the year it does make you stop and think how thankful you are for what we have the family members that are here to support us and share with us in good times and bad. My prayers go out to your son in dealing with this situation. It does make other young people stop and reflect the next time they go in a car or are behind the wheel of a car.

[mercygate]

It is always a great loss and a tragedy when someone so young dies. I am sure your son's visit to the family and funeral will mean a lot to the boy's family. I only hope the kids in the car weren't drinking and driving, and it was truly an accident. When this occurs at this time of the year it does make you stop and think how thankful you are for what we have the family members that are here to support us and share with us in good times and bad. My prayers go out to your son in dealing with this situation. It does make other young people stop and reflect the next time they go in a car or are behind the wheel of a car.

My daughter lost a neighborhood friend at about the same time as the OP's son: 2nd year in college. It REALLY brought home the message about careful driving and it REALLY woke her up about why, when she was in high school, her parents were such a PAIN about letting us know where she was, what she was doing, who she was with, and when she was coming home. I hope all of this young man's friends get the message!

[MissTeach]

I am so sorry. That is a pain I can't even imagine. I will be praying for your son and his friend's family.

[lynn bambusch]

I am so sorry to hear this. Your son will struggle with this for quite a while. My small town lost 5 teenagers (3 accidents) in six months. Some students planted trees in their memory, others did volunteer work in their names, a few even got small matching tatoos. Whatever helps at a time like this. For the parents, there is no recovery, however, if your son gets together with his friends they can take all their old pictures of growing up with the boy. Have them copies and made into a picture album for the parents. Everyone has pictures of other people's children, pictures that the parents don't have. Stay close to the family, my heart breaks for them.