Need.To.Vent!!!!!

[Miss T]

So, today I was cussed out by a student. This same student was removed from school last year and by some grace of a higher power, he's back this year. Since then, he's been much better. Today though, he had a meltdown. He threw a binder at another student, and when I tried to explain the 'no-throwing' rule, he proceeded to tell me that it didn't apply because he wasn't throwing a pencil and he wouldn't put anyone's eye out. I told him he was mistaken, going to be written up for his behavior, and that he needed to sit down and do his work. He responded, saying that he didn't care, because he'd been kicked out of the OSS room for attacking the moderator there and would be spending the day at home. He then called me a B**** and told me to quit b*cthing and teach. I then told him he needed to go to the office and he said "about time! I was wondering when you were going to f*cking send me there!". I hate giving my power up like that, and I was so mad I had to grab an aid from another room and calm myself down. I was literally like this: :angry:and:angry2:. Then, while I was still upset, the secretary brought the student in to apologize! He was the LAST person I wanted to see, and the last person I wanted to see me upset. I felt like I was underminded by her, which she does quite often. I know the secretarties "run" the school, but I feel like she was trying to pull one over on me, saying "look, I can make him behave." I mean, I put a ton of effort into the lessons I plan, and I don't believe in drill and kill sheets and things like that. I use a projector, use games, prizes, candy, computers, you name it! SO as a 'punishment,' because this student got all the other ones in class going, they are getting those drill-and-kill worksheets for the rest of the week. They're going to learn how boring Spanish could be, because if they're not going to work with what I've planned, tried to make fun, then I'm not going to. They will then be able to choose which kind of Spanish class they want. I am also going to write the class a letter explaining why all this is happening. Does anyone have any other suggestions? I'd apprecite it. Thanks! ughhhhhhh

[SiobhanMarie]

Hey MissT, I hope you feel better after venting that. I think it can be challenging and although this are different in Australia, I get the people in power on a power trip thing.

[mercygate]

What grade?

Has this kid been medically assessed?

[Miss T]

He's in 9th. I don't think he has been, but I strongly believe he's bipolar. There is SOMETHING wrong with him. I'm not even sure why he's back. He's a danger to the other kids at times. He's not even allowed back in the OSS room because he attacked the moderator. So I ask...why is he in my room???

[MissTeach]

I understand your anger at the secretary bringing him in to apologize. I believe that is completely out of line. That is a situation the administration should take care of.

[irish223]

I am also going to write the class a letter explaining why all this is happening.

I would be very careful about what is said in the letter. Once it's down on paper, it's hard to argue your intent if a parent or administrator disagrees with their interpretation of your words.

Sorry to be such a cynic, but I've seen things like this turned around on the teacher because a parent complains. Just be careful. :o

[mercygate]

I would be very careful about what is said in the letter. Once it's down on paper, it's hard to argue your intent if a parent or administrator disagrees with their interpretation of your words.

Sorry to be such a cynic, but I've seen things like this turned around on the teacher because a parent complains. Just be careful. :o

Amen! No good intention ever goes unpunished.

[serenity]

Why are the other kids being punished for this anyway? Were they laughing at his cussing or supporting him in some way? It seems unfair otherwise. Sorry, just playing devil's advocate here and thinking if I was one of the other kids. Plus, if they aren't supporting him, don't you want them in your corner, not against you? Just thinking out loud here.

[silvana]

I agree do not commit anything to paper just yet!

[seastarmath]

WHOA! That secretary was so far out of line it is ridiculous. In an ideal world, you would tell the administration what she did and the position she put you in. Hopefully they would not need you to point out that she overstepped the boundaries of her position. (Of course, this is the real world and secretaries can make your life really miserable so we have to grin and bear it.)

I do not understand how the admin could neglect your safety and that of your students by putting this child back in a regular classroom after the incident with OSS moderator. He should have stayed in the office until a parent picked him up. Whether or not the admin acts on an offense, though, document, document, document. When you request to have him tested for emotional development issues (here we call it BED to specify special needs due to behavior issues) you need to have a list of everything he did, what was done, etc. He needs to be in a special class.

Somedays its really hard to do what we do!

[seastarmath]

SiobhanMarie, you mentioned that things are different in Australia. Are they better or worse? How would this scenario have unfolded down under?

[Dhe Poet]

In Buffalo NY at that I can not believe this still goes on. At the very least your principal should be sitting in on this boys classes to keep him in line. Then to not be there someday, but to be very close by, somewhat like that of a shadow. This child is too far gone it sounds like and you and your class should not be having to deal with it. I think instead to talk to your class from your heart as a person and get all their support and feedback. Perhaps a petition or some sort of letter of acknowledgement by witnesses to help show the administration and parents and courts or such. What a crying shame. I feel horrible and I hope something gets done soon! Please let us know.

[lynn bambusch]

I'm sorry this happened to you, but he is a classic example of Oppositional Defiant Disorder, not bi-polar. He is telling you that HE knows you won't like him anyway, so he is going to reject YOU first. He isn't going to let you hurt him but making him care. (because once he cares you will walk away)..he's been there before and his behavior is his wall around himself. It really is sad. An angry kid is NOT a happy kid. All behavior has a purpose. He needs counseling but it is unlikely his parents will pay for it and, at least in my school, if you suggest it, the school has to pay for it (That's a big no-no). If somone could reach out to him instead of punishing him.......I know....no one has time....so sad...

[seastarmath]

Its more than a matter of having time to deal with students like this. Our hands are tied. More often than not, our good intentions backfire and WE end up in hot water.

IF only we could have something like the "Good Samaritan Laws" for teachers who try to help....

[Dhe Poet]

Miss T, I came back to check on you. I hope you have been consoled and Found some comfort in knowing at least there are people that understand and know what it's like. Too I was wondering what the uppers were doing if anything! Then like Lynn was saying, perhaps it's true and he has been hurt by someone before and he thinks he has to act this way to defend himself from letting it happen again. A case for a Big Brother perhaps. How are you?

[Flight]

Perhaps I did not read the post correctly.

When the secretary came back to your class with the student to have him apologize, was he allowed then to continue in the class? That should not have happened. After the student made his apology, he should have been taken away.