How can students be so rude and insensative...

[pearcen]

... oh I almost forgot, I teach middle schoolers!

Even though they are in middle school, they do not have the right to make another student feel student or inferior.

This is what happened in my 5th period today. My start up activity was about April Fool's Day. An ESOL student in class raised his hand and asked what April Fool's was. No sooner than he finished his question and the class burst into laughter and smart remarks. I could tell by the look on this student's face he was absolutely humiliated. This is not the first time someone has make a comment about one of his questions or statements. However, this time I couldn't let it go.

:mad:I went off on them and gave them an alternative assignment to the fun lesson I had planned for the day. I hated to do it because it was a great lesson, but I feel so upset that these young adults could be so hurtful.

How do you handle situations like this? How do you get your students to respect each other? :(

[dangercat]

I think that it's the age group. They are really ruled by peer pressure. Is there one or two particular students that start the laughing/making fun of?

[Flipp]

I teach middle school too.
The first and every time it happens, you have to stop it immediately. If you let it pass even once, then you send the message that you condone it. I would have stopped it, briefly explained that the student is of a different culture and pointed out how foolish it is to expect everyone to be like you. If I could identify the main perpetrators I'd then talk to them individually.
The most important thing is to stop it quick, and move on quickly too. After all, this poor student was embarrassed to be the subject of ridicule, but I'm sure he wasn't crazy about being the indirect cause of getting the whole class in trouble.

[Chef Dave]

How do you handle situations like this? How do you get your students to respect each other? :(

There was a time when students learned basic rules of social etiquette from their parents. Times have changed ... and not necessarily for the better.

What can you do?

1) Isolate students from their peer support and talk to them one on one.

2) As Flipp suggested, be proactive. Act quickly and decisively. Consequences need to be immediate.

3) Teach students how to work together by forming groups that change on a daily or weekly basis. The dynamics of internal group structure will have to be taught ... i.e. You're the group leader. You'll be responsible for making sure that everyone has a turn ... you're the recorder. You're responsible for taking notes ... you're the getter. You get and return supplies ... etc.

Respect will (hopefully) be an incidental learning experience from group activities as students will be dependent upon their classmates to complete a given task or project.

4) You might consider the use of "what would you do" value clarification exercises as time fillers. Example: Mary has a lot of homework but her book bag wasn't zipped up all the way. As she's walking down the hall, her bag falls apart and everything inside the bag falls to the floor ... textbooks, notebooks, paper, pencils, erasers, pens etc. WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

[upnorthteacher]

I agree with Chef Dave's suggestions. I would add another component, though. Since this has been a repeated problem with the ESOL student, pose some questions to help them with empathy for being in a new country or culture. Ask them to imagine being in school in a different country without understanding the language or culture. I have worked with our Spanish teacher to do a lesson on this. We have used Mexican social customs and the Spanish language for an hour to help our native English speakers develop some empathy. This also helps the ESOL students feel valued, and I have had them help me plan activities for that lesson. I realize that if you have students from many different cultures, this may be difficult, but you can at least ask some questions to build empathy.

[busbus]

How do you handle situations like this? How do you get your students to respect each other? :(

If I could answer the question that the student asked, I would have settled my students so that I could answer the question. Then I would have asked some of the students who had laughed to add to my answer. If I were unable to answer the question, I would asked the "laughing idiots" to answer the question and to let the student know that the question was valid and that we would research for the answer.

I love to put rude and insensitive students on the spot! I love to make them feel the same humiliation that they caused!

This would be the last time that these students would be rude and insensitive to a fellow student in my classroom. We would begin with a lesson on proper etiquette and treating others the way we want to be treated. Because this incident was not the first time that this happened, it suggests to me that lessons/activities on tolerance need to be included in my lessons. Whatever it takes to be proactive, I would try in order to avoid this happening again.

[jsfowler]

BusBus...I couldn't have said it better. I love putting those kinds of kids on the spot..."Well, if you know it all, what's the answer?"

During my "first days" presentation I make it clear that no one is better than anyone else and I will not stand for rude and insensitive behavior in my classroom. I also talk about the "he said/she said" crap. I think my students know that they will not be on my good side if I catch them acting this way.

Earlier this year, we rearranged rooms so that our 15 (out of 105) top students were in a room with my 9 special needs. It was going great, but then one girl (who was that 15th person choosen) stood up in the middle of class and said, "Why are all these speds in here?" My jaw dropped along with several students. It took me a moment to wrap my brain around what was said and I told her to go to the hallway in my loudest, most hatefull voice. There was no ignoring it...everyone heard her. Just as she got to the door I just went off and I wanted the whole class to hear it. "(name), wait right there! I think the real question is why are YOU in this room? The criteria to be in this homeroom is hard working, respectful, helpful, desire to learn (I went on and on but they escape me now...you get the point)...YOU do not have any of those qualities and this was obviously a mistake. You may go to Mrs. S homeroom and tell her I will call with an explanation when I get a chance." She left my room feeling one inch tall and I wish it could have been less. She apologized to me a week later and I told her that I was not the only one that needed an apology and that she should do it privately. She has not said anything like that, to my knowledge, again.

[MissTeach]

Flipp is right; you have to address the situation immediately. I never let a rude comment about another student or teacher go without addressing it. My students learn very quickly to not be rude to others. I do a lot with cultures in my classroom. We spend a lot of time talking about how we all have different traditions in our families and how we all enjoy different types of activities. I enjoy watching students embrace the differences in our world!

[MsCoffeeLover]

You really do need to take care of these things right then and there, and I am with jsfowler and busbus. If a student is going out of their way to make another student feel bad, I will step in and give them a taste of their own medicine. That behavior is not tolerated, and some kids that dish it out don't really know what it is like to receive similar behavior. If they are going to try to make someone feel bad, I am going to try to make them feel worse.

Whether that student has to deal with us or parents or whomever, that behavior must be addressed at some point in time. We are lucky that we are able to address such things at a critical point in their lives--the time where middle schoolers are seriously trying to figure things out.

[ChocolateNewOrleans]

problem is, some students ask stupid questions on purpose to disrupt class... and then they get someone else yelled at for what they started.

Win-win for them

you are now offtask (and not working or making them work) and somebody else takes the fall for it.

[ilyce200]

I teach middle school too.
The first and every time it happens, you have to stop it immediately. If you let it pass even once, then you send the message that you condone it. I would have stopped it, briefly explained that the student is of a different culture and pointed out how foolish it is to expect everyone to be like you. If I could identify the main perpetrators I'd then talk to them individually.
The most important thing is to stop it quick, and move on quickly too. After all, this poor student was embarrassed to be the subject of ridicule, but I'm sure he wasn't crazy about being the indirect cause of getting the whole class in trouble.

But you make it seem like you are trying to control the students. Of course you could tell them that its not nice, but in the end its their choice not to listen.

[Chef Dave]

... in the end its their choice not to listen.

Which is precisely why there are consequences for inappropriate behavior ...

This is also why teachers need to be firm, fair, and consistent in the enforcement of rules.

[ilyce200]

But then the students end up not liking you, which will make them even more defiant.

[MissTeach]

If a teacher is firm, fair, and consistent, students will respect them. They may not 'like' them, but having a student's respect is much more important. For learning to take place, there has to be order in the classroom. Students also have to feel comfortable- be in a safe environment. Therefore a teacher has to be the one in charge of the classroom which means enforcing rules.

[ilyce200]

Naive much? I'm sorry, but respect is rare these days. I am very well liked by students, and they feel that they can talk to me about anything. I am not only a teacher but a friend. And from being friends with these students, I know that they tend to respect you less if they think that you are forcing them to do something that they do not wish to do. It's bad enough that they feel that they are being forced to go to school, but to be under strict rules? People have believed in "firm, fair, and consistent" rules for a long time, and yet the dropout rates have gone up dramatically. Take THIS into consideration.

[Chef Dave]

People have believed in "firm, fair, and consistent" rules for a long time, and yet the dropout rates have gone up dramatically. Take THIS into consideration.

You are comparing apples to oranges.

Drop out rates have very little to do with whether or not students like their teachers.

When 500 dropouts, ages 16-25, were interviewed, they gave many reasons for leaving school:

47% said classes were not interesting
43% missed too many days to catch up
45% entered high school poorly prepared by their earlier schooling
69% said they were not motivated to work hard
35% said they were failing
32% said they left to get a job
25% left to become parents
22% left to take care of a relative

Two-thirds of all drop outs said they would have tried harder if more was expected from them.

None of the students said anything about liking or not liking their instructors.

When asked how we could improve schools to increase our graduation rates, students suggested the following:

• hire better teachers statistically speaking, freshmen at inner city schools are more likely to have novice educators who may not even be certified in their respective instructional areas.

• offer more alternatives

• offer real-life opportunities (CTE programs and externships)
more help with learning problems

• provide tutoring and/or mentoring

• provide more school counselors

• offer summer school

• provide more supervision

• provide more school-to-home communication

[MissTeach]

ilyce200- I don't know where you live, but where I live, respect is not rare. Also, I find that the majority of my students come back to see me after they go to high school. They tell me that they were well prepared and are glad that they were in my class. Also, I don't believe my students feel 'forced' to do things in my class. They help set the rules and then I design lessons that motivate students to learn.

We are all different and have to find the teaching technique that is best for us. Personally, I don't want to be a 'friend' with my students.

[jsfowler]

MissTeach, I couldn't have said it better!

[ChocolateNewOrleans]

Naive much? I'm sorry, but respect is rare these days. I am very well liked by students, and they feel that they can talk to me about anything. I am not only a teacher but a friend. And from being friends with these students, I know that they tend to respect you less if they think that you are forcing them to do something that they do not wish to do. It's bad enough that they feel that they are being forced to go to school, but to be under strict rules? People have believed in "firm, fair, and consistent" rules for a long time, and yet the dropout rates have gone up dramatically. Take THIS into consideration.


Being friends with students and your own children is what's naive.

[Aziz]

Different students need different classroom atmospheres. Some students flourish in a structured, formal atmosphere. Others flourish in a more laid-back, friendly atmosphere. Students will respect you if you emulate the atmosphere they function at the highest level in.

If I'm too friendly, the students that think a teacher is there to teach the subject and nothing more will not have respect for me. At the same time, if I'm too distant, the students who prefer a more parental relationship with their teachers will have a harder time respecting me. It's impossible to accommodate everyone, but each institution tends to have a climate, and usually it's best to be in the ballpark of the school climate.

One of the reasons substitute teachers have a hard time gaining respect from students is because one day is not enough to feel the school climate.

-Aziz

[charliejg]

I must admit that after teaching seventh and eighth grade for several years I was unable to find anything that worked every time. Some teachers are able find a way to use humor to handle "those creatures". I could not. I had two separate positions teaching in grades seven and eight. Both times I decided after a while to "escape" and found new positions at lower grade levels.