Help! Unruly Parent Problem!

[dee-lite]

I am a 4th grade teacher. At the beginning of the year students are asked to bring kleenex(2 boxes). I keep track of those who have brought their tissue and those who have not, and remind those students who have not brought them. At the end of the 3rd week, 3 students still had not brought their boxes so I wrote in ther agenda as a reminder to their parents. Well a parent came up to the school to talk to my AP about the kleenex, saying that I embarrassed her child by asking her to bring the kleenex. Then she went on and stated that I had said to wipe her nose on her shirt. I know for a fact that I never said this to her child. Then the next day came and this particular child was acting very suspicious during class during an exam. She was holding up her test paper and showing it to another student. I called on her and the other student and talked to them about it. At first the child said she wasnt doing anything and gave me an attitude, and then she finally admitted it to me. I looked at her test paper and she had been scribbling on it and writing "I love Roger." I called her mother and spoke to her about the situation and asked her if she could talk to her about testing procedures. Well she said she would speak to her. Then she said she wanted to speak to me about how uncomfortable her child is in my class because of the kleenex issue. She then accused me of saying the quote about the shirt. I advised her I never said that to her child, but she did not believe me and said she would like to take her daughter out of my class. She was very rude, talking down to me and there was nothing I could say to change her mind. Then she said she had an anonymous witness who had heard me say this quote. So I said that she could remove her child from my class if she felt that it was necessary. I think this made her more upset because then she said she wanted to talk to the principal. I am trying to figure out if the child is lying to her mother about me or if the mother is blowing the whole thing out of proportion. I have had no previous issues/incidents with this child. She participates in class. and comes to my desk if she has a question about something. This is very upsetting to me and I would like some advice on how to handle this situation. It really upsets me that the mother talked to me in that manner and also that I am being lied about to administration. Please help!

dee-lite

[AAA Teacher Forum]

Dee-lite,
WOW! First, let me say I'm sorry that you have to go through this...parent issues are never fun, but especially ones like you have described.

I have one big question: Have you and your administrator sat down and really talked about this situation? If the parent has talked to your administrator, then they should call you in to discuss the situation.

If I were you, this is what I would do...I would request a meeting with EVERYONE!! This includes the parent, administrator, you, and the student. It may be appropriate to just have the student at the meeting for a portion of the time, but I firmly believe that a message needs to be sent to this child. She has obviously lied, so there needs to be some accountability on her part. The one thing you have going for you on that aspect is the test. I would request a sit down before any moving of this student occurred.

Good luck and be sure to keep us updated.

Jennifer

[javamomma]

I agree, you need to get a handle on this now.
Some parents you just cant please, I have had them before.

[bethbeth81]

Whatever you do, don't take it personally! Some parents are just very unhappy people looking for a person to use as an outlet for their unhappiness. Unfortunately, teachers are one of these targets! When situations like this happen, I immediately go to my administrator and make sure they have my back. If it gets bad enough, it is the administrator's job to jump in and tell the parent to stop harassing his or her teachers!

Be careful about allowing the child to switch classes...this happened to me once and for two years after it happened I had other parents requesting their child be switched to another class at the drop of a hat! Although...this was in a very small town where they were obviously firends with the other parent whose child was moved. Just know that it may open a can of worms..although it may be necessary if the parent is talking about you to the child causing him or her to disrespect you in school.

Best of luck with the situation, and hang in there..we ALL go through it! Just keep your head held high!

[mkultra]

This is not an uncommon problem. You are lucky this has only happened once to you. Misquotes and confusion are common. What makes me curious is that children are expected to bring Klenex to school. Children can be aked to donate school supplies but they should not feel guilted into bringing any items to school. I have a mom who has written to me to ask that I stop yelling in the classroom because it hurts her daughters ears. I told her we are not aloud to yell. That is it. It turns out her daughter made up the story to stay home because she was afraid of some girl bullies at P.E. and I made the easiest target. How strange! Kids lie. Rise above it. Why is a meeting or transfer even necessary? You are as professional not the mom. More power to you.